Being 33 was good.
There were adventures to be had. Friendships to be formed and developed. Business to grow. Time spent to myself. Learning who I am. Learning who I want to be.
Pandemics are weird. I say this having now ridden my way through one (and still actively riding through it). You learn who you are because you can only be with you and your own thoughts. You learn who to keep close. You learn how important your family is (as if you didn’t already know – it just somehow means more). You also learn that it’s so important to take care of yourself.
This blog is going to be all pics from my solo adventure at Sandy River Outdoor Adventures a month ago. I feel like what I learned about myself can be summed up into this trip.
Thing 1: Love yourself no matter where you’re at
It’s taken me a long time to love myself. And let’s be real: there are days that I don’t. But to take selfies of yourself, to see all your flaws, to edit all your flaws (I didn’t edit any out), to see your silly facial expressions – you have to love who you are. If you don’t love who you are, you don’t have the capacity to love anyone else – your family, your friends, your clients, anyone. So I spent a lot of time with myself, trying to figure out how to love myself the way that I know I deserve to be loved.
The night that I got to Sandy River Outdoor Adventures, I planned my 60 mile bike ride for the next day. I went to check out the trail, did a quick 12 miles, and decided that I knew I could do it. I also took a plethora of photos so that I wouldn’t have to the next day.
And – as always, lots of selfies, and of course, photos of the stars, the tipis, the magic.
This leads me to the second thing that I learned about myself this year –
Thing 2: It’s Okay to Give Up
I had grand plans for a 60 mile bike ride on this trip. It was the basis of why I was going. I wanted to prove to the universe that I could ride 60 miles in a day – that I could do the whole thing there and back.
What I didn’t anticipate was tweaking my knee in the first 8 miles.
I talked to friends while I was on my bike that got me through a lot of it (honestly, just to keep it interesting for some of the time, because the trail was rather boring). But towards the end – the turn around or really get hurt – I called my husband. I asked him if I turned around and did 48 miles instead of 60, would I be a failure? Would I be disappointed in myself?
He said that he would be proud of me either way – and if I turn around, I should be proud that I listened to my body instead of focused on my ego.
Thing 3: You Don’t Need External Validation
Let’s be honest – I’m the queen of asking others opinions. I want to make sure I don’t offend anyone. I want to make sure that whatever I’m doing or saying is the right thing. I want to make sure that I’m getting my point across the way that I want to.
But here’s the thing: if you know who you are, you believe in what you want, you believe in your goals and dreams – why the hell does it matter who else has anything to say about it? Why does it matter what someone else thinks.
I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t.
Sometimes you just have to let shit go – other people’s opinions, your own insecurities, and more. And I let a lot go this weekend that I was away at Sandy River Outdoor Adventures.
So this is 34. And about as social as I get now. My goals for this year? Love myself. And be selfish about it. Because I think it’s going to make the year better than I could’ve dreamed of – and my relationships more wonderful than I could hope for.