Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say {Sarahah}

I’m sure you’ve seen it by now – this new app, “Sarahah”.  I watched a few people do it before I decided to take the dive in (and feel free to continue my social experiment – click here for the link).  Don’t know about it?  Let me give you the bulletpoints.

What to know about Sarahah.com:

1. It anonymizes anything you say to someone.  So you can tell someone to fuck off, you can tell them that you love them – whatever you want with complete anonymity.
2. Sarahah was created as an HR tactic – and that actually makes sense.  Employees could give feedback without fear of retribution.  While I have my doubts that whatever you say isn’t trackable, if it means that workplaces got great feedback I get it.
3. It’s already started a crazy online bullying epidemic.  Not that there wasn’t already a problem, but it essentially made feeling safe behind a keyboard even safer.

When I did it, I was nervous.  I’m the kind of person who overthinks anything that anyone ever says ever.  I hear someone’s feedback and I take it to heart.  Not knowing who someone was when they said something – that almost made it worse.  I was lucky – I got fantastic feedback. People were so sweet and kind!

Here’s a few of the excerpts:

1. “You are an incredibly ambitious woman who sets high goals, reach them, then set even higher ones.  You are an inspiration to so many women.”
2. “I have known you since we were little and have always admired you. Through good times and bad you have been a great example of positivity and kindness.  I hope we can reconnect sometime.”
3. “I think you are amazing and incredible and patient and loving and kind and a wonderful mom.”

These are so nice, guys!  Then I thought long and hard about it – and thought, “Why are we being so kind anonymously?”  Part of it could be that we (especially me) don’t know how to take compliments.  It could also be that we get scared to reach out, to make a friend, to reconnect.  When I saw some of the negative things being posted that other people dealt with, my next thought was, “what did the anonymous poster have to gain?” Ultimately, I think it was the satisfaction of getting it off their chest, or getting into someone’s head. Seeing others POST those negative comments, too, made me feel like people needed the attention or satisfaction of others comforting them that this was the only person who felt this way.

The takeaway:

When you want to say something nice – SAY IT! If someone says something nice to you, BELIEVE it. If you don’t have anything nice to say, or you want to give constructive feedback to someone, do it without fear of retribution.  Or, if you feel it necessary, use Sarahah and see what happens.  Don’t expect the words that you say and the things that you do not to have consequences just because your name isn’t attached to them.  Be a good person.  Care about people.  Accept love from other people.  It’s really that simple.

Don’t be a bully.  Don’t use an app to tear people down.  It makes you a coward, and you don’t know what it could do to that person.  Don’t hide behind anonymity.  Be more accepting.  If we’ve learned anything in life, it should be that.

I never wrote in someone’s.  Every time I would start, I couldn’t do it.  Because why wouldn’t I just say it to them? Social media, apps, the phone – all of it supposed to BE social.  Part of that is not being anonymous.  Back up your words with actions and be a positive influence on those around you.  Social media CAN be fantastic.  It should be a way to spread the love so that everyone can see.  It’s why I use it for business the way that I do, and personally the way that I do.